If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
