Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
