I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
