Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
