the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
