dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You dont lie about slip and slides
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
