ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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