Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You smell like stripper and shame
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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