what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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