what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
