And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The air was thick with penises
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
