Apparently you make a good broom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
