Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
