The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
