How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's blow job season.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
