Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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