Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
why is half of my head shaved?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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