I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
