I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
