He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
