fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
