I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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