I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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