margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
