it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
