my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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