Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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