if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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