real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
