oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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