I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
