watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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