It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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