I love black thongs
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
