walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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