ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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