I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
