i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
