either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
