playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
