I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
