She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
