is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
