yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
