There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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