I wish I only lived at night.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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