I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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