Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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