Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
