My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
