FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
