dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
