Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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