I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my poor anus
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
